Not a very good day.

I just played a couple games.  They were retarded.  and by that I mean mentally challenged.  Nothing against real-life handicaps, but its pretty frowned upon in the poker world.  The first game was like this:

Two super aggressive donks to my right.  Blinds at 50/100, 10k starting stack.  they were raising to 900 and reraising to 3200.  like every hand.  They traded chips a few times and got caught being asses.  But eventually they were both the chip leaders.  I didnt play many hands but one hand I was on the big blind, and donk#2 raised my 200 to 1200.   Im sure he had 62off, and I had AKoff, so I just went all in.  Now the funny part here is the guy to my left, he was playing tight the whole game, hed taken a few of the donks chips and had about 17000.   I was at about 9300.  He snap-called and I was like oh fuck.  Of course the donk folded and it was me and the tight guy.  Sure enough he showed QQ.

Well, The ace came and I was saved.  No queen, no straight, I double up.  Now the next hand, I was small blind and everyone folded I limped in quickly, I had AKsuited this time 🙂  Just like I imagined, he was mad at that loss and he just clicked all in fast as he could.  I called.  He had A8suited which actually surprised me, but sure enough the flop brought me two kings, and he was gone.  2 hands and the whole game is changed.  gotta love that.  I think I had about 27000 after all the commotion.

So I let these jack-offs try and bluff eachother out of there own t-shirts for about twenty minutes. Plus I was really getting shitty cards.  Fuck were they dim-wits.  Theyre last hand ended like this: Donk#1, raise to 3000.  Donk #2, raise to 8000.  Donk#1 raise to 16000, donk#2 all in, call.

Donk #1 shows k5off, donk #2 shows q8off.  Nobody hit anything and king high took it.  I think I wouldve won with my j3off.  But now it was me vs donk #1.

He starts off by going all in.  I think I had around 28000 and he must have had about 32000.  I folded, but raised the next hand quite a bit as to show hey buddy, that shit isnt gonna fly.  He folded.  It boiled down to him raising me to 2500, and I raised him to 8000.  I had AQs.  He snap-called.   The flop was J2Q, I bet he raised, I raised he went all in, in a matter of 2.5 seconds.  Sweet I thought.  He shows T7offsuit. Well, the turn was a king and the river was a nine, and he had a straight.   I lasted about 15 more minutes with this dipshit and doubled up again, but I lost when I had A9off and hit a nine and went all in.  He had AJsuited and caught a jack on the river of course.

I cant figure out why shitty players are so well rewarded by the gods of luck when they just make horrible decision after horrible decision.  Makes me angry.  I shouldve won that.   Fuck you to whomever is responsible for letting him reraise me with ten7off and catch runner runner for the straight.  Fuck you.

So I joined a new sng.  First hand, K9 suited. I raise to open the betting.  One caller.  flop comes and I have 4 diamonds.  I bet small of course and he calls.  no Diamond, but I bet again, he calls.  no flush so i check.  This guy minbets 100 so I call and he has a4off, Ace high.  The next hand I get J8suited, so I open again, and sure enough I hit nothing.  Someone else takes the pot.

Third hand I get KQsuited.  I think I was on the big blind this time and yes, I raised these limpers.  Bunch of bricks on the flop, everyone checks it to me and I bet, and I get reraised pretty big so I throw the hand away.

NEXT hand I get AA.  cards are coming.  small blind, I raise, nothing out of the ordinary, I get one caller.  The flop comes 832.  I bet small like I always do.  They fold.  !!!  fuck.

You wont believe this but next hand I get JJ.  Everyone folds.  Im on the button now, I JUST CALL.  Small blind folds.  Big blind goes disconnected!!!!!

what a joke.  45 seconds later he auto checks.  The flop is like AK9, so I bet and he auto folds.

K9suited.  KQsuited.  J8suited.  AA.  JJ.  What have I got to show?  Im about 300 chips more than I started with.  UnFuckingReal.

I swear to God, for the REST of the tournament, I did not get one decent hand.  I folded everything.  k5off, 73off, J2s, 85off, 94off, a2off, 104s, 36off, q7off.  I was being blinded to death in the third round.  The guy to my left was a player I play a lot, and he always check on the BB, always.  So i limped in whenever I could and hit nothing every time.

Everntually I had q8off on the button, and I had about 6400 left. I raised to 1800 cause this was getting sick and I was running out of time.  and what happens?  The rock to my left goes all in 9k.  What a joke.  I had to fold.  He must have had TT.

So i get blinded out some more, and eventually Im small blind with 2000 left and 500 invested.  J6suited.  Best hand Ive seen in 42 hands.  Some other guy goes all in and I call.  He has ATs, same suit. Neither of us hit anything and Ace high takes it.  Disgusting.

Next game (yes, I tried again) Fold a bunch of crap.  Then Im dealt 66.  I raise to 1500 (blinds are 300/600) I get reraised to 3300.  One other person calls.  I call.  The flop is 655.  The guy goes all in, girl folds, I call, he has AA.  He goes home.  Ive got 24000 chips.

This bitch to my left is raising everything.  Then going all in at the flop.  I observed her the entire time, she was just an idiot trying to give her chips away.  Then one hand, I was big blind.  She min raised, and the other girl called, and the next girl called (it was all girls after I took that dudes chips)  I had K8 suited, and it was a minraise to call and close the action and see a flop, so I call.  The flop was 842rainbow.  I bet. The bitch calls, and the other two ladies fold.  The turn was an 8.  Now Ive got a set of 8s king high.  seems decent enough.

I bet huge, I think my bet wouldve left her 2000 chips if she called, and call she did.  The river came and it was a 6.  She goes all in.  LOL.  ok.   I call, she has pocket sixes for a full house.  Can you believe that! Well I guess I took the pot with pocket sixes earlier with a full house vs AA, but all I did was call a preflop reraise twice what I already had in there.  If I didnt hit that 6, I was gone.   Now this woman is facing a bet, then a HUGE bet for all but her last couple of blinds, and she chases it right down, a two outer.  And hits.  Where do these people come from!!

I cant catch a 12 outer to save my life and these people are betting on two outers and catching them.  Again, Fuck you to whoever is behind this.

You know how I lost another tourney earlier, I was short stacked  against 2 tight players, and I played a real solid game.  They knew I didnt fuck around.  I had 6k left, and blinds were 600-1200.  I had A2 suited and I went all in on the button.  The last time I went all in I had AQ on the button.  The smart guy folds.  The woman..  She thinks and thinks and thinks.  Thinks some more.  requests more time.  Takes about 35 seconds and calls.  she has 34clubs.  Seriously, wow.  Was that your big pot-odds call, you fucking fool.  CAll 5000 to win 7000 when you only have 12k left.  With 34.

well, why dont you guess the flop.  No it wasnt 334.  It was actualy A210.  I had two pair.  But the ten was a club, and so was the next card, and so was the next card, giving her a flush.  What other outcome is there!

stab stab stab.