Whats a poker blog without a “Hand Nicknames” post 😀

Yes, most hands have a name if you didnt already know that.

So Ive just googled hand names and looked at a few other blogs or whatever, and so Im just gonna copy it from 2 or 3 sites and combine them if there are any differences.

AA  Bullets,  American airlines, or Pocket Rockets

KK  Cowboys, King Kong, or Ace Magnets.  Ace Magnets because Ace is the only card you dont wanna see.

QQ  Ladies, Bitches, 4 tits, or Sigfried & Roy.  Unfortunately the nicks for this hand are mostly derogatory.

JJ    Fishhooks, J Birds

TT  Dimes, and Tension, because the chances of getting higher cards on the flop are 70%

99  Popyes, Phil Hellmuth, German Virgin, Barbara Feldon (agent 99)  Phil won the 89 world series with 99

88  Snowmen, Doggie Balls, Little Oldsmobile.  The 88 Olds’ was a model that was smaller than the 98 Oldsmobile

77  Hockey sticks, Mullets, Sunset Strip

66  Cherries, Route 66

55   Speed Limit

44   Magnum, or sailboats.  Do ya feel lucky?  Well do ya, punk?

33   Treys, and Crabs

22  Ducks.

——–

AK  Big Slick, Walking back to Houston, or Anna Kournikova because the hand looks great but never wins 🙂

AQ  Big chick.

AJ  Ajax, Jackass, and Blackjack

AT  Johnny Moss, because apparently he started playing poker at age 10

A9  The Jesus Ferguson Hand, because he beat TJ Cloutier at the 2000 Wsop holding A9 vs AQ

A8  Dead Mans Hand.  Wild Bill Hickock was shot in the back and killed holding this hand with 2 pair, by Jack McCall August 2nd, 1876.

A7  Slapshot, a hockey reference since 7`s are hockey sticks and aces are bullets.

A6  Ray Finkle, 6 considered  the worst kicker because of its inability to make a straight.

A5  High 5

A4  Transvestite.  It looks like AA, but it turns out not to be

A3  Ashtray, or Baskin Robbins.  For their 31 different flavors.

A2  Hunting Season, you have bullets and ducks

KQ  Marriage.  or Divorce if it doesnt hold up.

KJ  Kojak.  KJ offsuit is known as the Bachelors Hand, because it is literally Jack King Off

KT  Katie, for phonetic reasons, and Big Al, a reference to a Wisconsin Poker player named Big Al Emerson

K9   Canine, or Fido

K8  Kate.  Sounds like there should be a placate pun in there somewhere!

K7  Columbia River, famous for its salmon runs, apparently King seven almost sounds like King Salmon

K6  Kicks.  A Pig-Latin thing.

K4  Fork.  Four-K sounds like fork

K3  King Crabs, or Sizzler

K2  Donald Duck or Big Fritz, referring to German poker player Andreas Fritz

QJ   Maverick, pertaining to the TV show theme song `Livin on Jacks and Queens`  or Oedipus Rex, a Greek play referring to an incestuous mother and son

QT  Quint, or Robert Varkonyi, who won the 2002 Wsop by getting a full house with that hand and beating a flush

Q9  Quinine, an anti-malarial drug

Q8  Kuwait.

Q7  One site calls this the computer hand, because calculations make it the average hand

Q6  Another site calls this the Computer Hand.  Or PB+J, Peanutbutter and Jelly, who knows why?

Q5  Granny Mae.  Granny can be a Queen, and May is the fifth month.

Q4  Housework.  Answer to the question “What is a Queen for?”

Q3, Gay Waiter, or San Fransisco Busboy (a queen with a trey)

Q2  Daisy Duck

J9  Scotty Nguyen won the 98 Wsop with this hand when the board came 89988 and induced a call from Kevin Mcbride with the memorable line “You call this one and its all over, baby.”

J8  Jeffrey Dahmer.  Jeffrey Dahmer ate Jack

J7  Jack Daniels.  Old no. 7 Tennessee Whiskey

J5  Motown, Jackson 5.  They released their albums through the record company Motown

J4.  Flat tire.  Answer to the question “Whats a jack for”

J3  JLo, named after the popstar and her famous booty that looks like the number 3

J2  Heckle and Jeckle, twin cartoon Jbirds that appeared on TV in 1943

T9  Countdown, as most countdowns start at ten, nine..

T8  Tetris.

T7  Bowling Hand.  The ten seven split in bowling is famous.

T6  Sweet sixteen.

T5  Woolworth, for their five and dime.  Or merfs, a poker game where tens and fives are wild.

T4  Broderick Crawford, from Hiway Patrol where he used to say Ten-four all the time.

T3  Fast Connection, referring to T3, a fast telecommunications network.

T2, Doyle Brunson.  He won both the 76, and 77 Wsop bracelets holding Ten Two

98  Oldsmobile.  The 98 was bigger than the 88 model.

96  Big Lick

95  Dolly Parton

94  San Fransisco hand, named after the football team the 49ers, which is named after the 1849 gold rush in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, east of San Fran.

93  Jack Benny.  He claimed to be 39 for years and years.

92  Montana Banana, Twiggy, or Golf Bag

87  RPM  The very first record format was a 10 inch disk that spun 78 revolutions per minute

84  George Orwell, author of the book 1984

83 Raquel Welch, as she still claims to be 38

82.  The second worst starting hand in holdem

76  Union Oil, named after the gas station Union 76

75  Heinz.  A Pennsylvania condiments company which has 57 varieties, the most famous being ketchup.

74  Cambodian Big Slick.  Tragically, 1974 was the year of genocide in Cambodia

73  Hachem.  Joe Hachem won the 2005 world series when he flopped a straight holding 73

72  Beer hand.  The worst starting hand in poker.  You either lose and go get a beer, or if you win, you buy the other guy a beer, or, only a guy full of beers would play this hand.

65  Ken Warren, a poker writer who gave himself the nickname for this hand in one of his books.

54  Jesse James, or Moneymaker who won in 2003 with this hand, and Jesse James was shot with a .45 caliber pistol

52  Quarter, or two bits

43  Waltz, because a Waltz is always in 3/4 meter

42  Lumberman’s hand, because of the common 2 by 4 piece of lumber

32  Mississippi Slick, or Polish Big slick, derogatory, as 23 is the complete opposite of AK or Big Slick.

And there you have it.  Some nicknames and a little bit of history.  It may not help your game but you might be able to out-talk somebody who thinks they know everything there is to know about poker!

There are a few hands that have not been given nicknames yet.   Dibs on 64! I call that shit its one of my favorite suited hands 😀

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