Archive for August, 2014

You and God vs Me


You see, most people have an advantage on me before I even get dealt my hand. Im gonna suggest that when I am in a hand with someone for all the marbles, I am playing against a team consisting of my opponent and god. Yes, god. Ya, Im partially joking, but really, it must be true. I am not religious. I dont even believe in jesus or all that mumbo jumbo, but Im not talking about jesus I am talking about the almighty god. You know, Morgan Freeman, Alannis Morrisette? god. Whatever entity it is that resides in your subconscious, independent of religion, affording you the ability to separate right from wrong. god.

And he must be mad at me. Im no angel, but Ive never killed anybody or raped anybody or robbed a little old lady. There are worse people than me, but god seems to have a beef still, and hes been sitting in on my poker games and helping my opponents. I feel I should report this to the internet,  its about all I can do.

Im convinced it is the mighty god himself using his control to make me lose. There is no other explanation. The laws of poker state that the better hands will hold up against the lesser hands more often over time!! Does it not? Does it not state that AA will beat KK more often? Does it not state that AK will beat AJ more often? TT vs 33? KQ vs Qbloody3? Come on. Its way past variance. My better hands are losing to worse hands twice as much as I am winning with them, and this period could go back 3 or 4 months now. I do everything right. (mostly) I dont let people chase their hands for cheap. I dont bluff poorly or too frequently. I dont make horrible calls. I get the hand, build the pot, secure the deal and get my chips in there, and theres always somebody with a worse hand catching the fucking miracle card and I just think how the fuck am I supposed to beat these people when Im playing him and god at the same time handing out miracle cards??    Like enough is enough,  Ive been going at this for a couple years now after reading pages and pages of books for hours and hours and just keep doing everything I should and yet im still scratching up the walls of a hole. I get dozens of compliments a week, just two days ago this guy told me I was the only player hes played that knew anything about the game at this level. This level being between $3 and $12.00 sit n go.


I dont play much MTT as Ive said before, but I played two today. One I came in 14th out of 60 or something. no money, but for most of the tourney I was 2nd in chip leader. I cant remember how I lost I think I got blinded out. But I played another one and again I was second in chips after almost an hour. I had about 21000 chips and this guy limped in he had about 3000 chips and the blinds were 300 600 I think. I was next, I raised it to 1500 with 88, next girl called but that was nothing out of norm. My interest was the other donk girl who just lost most of her chips on a bad play she had 3500 left and she went all in as expected. Limper folds, I call, girl calls, flop come 853. Perfect I have 88. I bet big like 5000 and the pot wouldve been almost 10. She calls. Next card is a 10 and its the second spade. No more pissing around, time to win this pot I go all in, she calls, shows JJ. Nice I got her 🙂 Oh wait the river, JACK. second place chip leader – to out. over. done. Fine she had a better hand Ill give her that, it went the way it should have, she had an over pair, BUT if my bets indicated anything, it was a pair higher than JJ or trips, which would have both beat her. But she was loose and thought she had me and bet her whole stack, and youre telling me that wasnt the almighty saying “nice try buddy, you aint gonna win this yet, im not done fucking with you yet” as he passes her a jack on the river? You know, I probably get outplayed once every 35 showdowns. One out of 35 times does the opponent have a better hand than me that surprised me and the rest are river catches, or poor horrible calls, like when I raise 8xbb with AA and I get the T8off donk caller who goes all in when the flop is T83 and I call. Thats how I lose. I lose with 99 to 88 all in when they hit an 8 on the turn. I lose AQs to Q3donk trying to be a hero and I put him all in and one measly 3 on the flop takes me out? I lose 89s when the flop is 674 with flush draw and open straight draw I bet big with many outs and some hero with A4 sees me down and I catch nothing at all and he wins with a 4 when I fire a third bullet.

It sounds like Ive been doing horrible, I havent, really. Ive been playing poker a lot this summer and I had a bit of a break in the spring and late winter. and Ive done ok, won lots, I am ahead, but I should be way farther up. Im winning 55% and losing 45% and it makes me so angry because none of the losses are legit I should have won every game that I lost, its all horrible calls its all suckout rivers and bad luck plays, like when I have TT and the flop is JJQ and I bet, and buddy calls and the turn is 4 and I bet, and buddy calls and river is Q and now I have nothing QQJJ ten high LOL he wins with ace high. Over and over and over.

I took a shot again.
Remember my taking a shot post? When I got drunk and lost heads up 50 dollar hundred dollar games? woke up with zilch? Well I took a shot again not very drunk but sharper and on my game and I had some convos with the players,  they were alright,  but I was the better poker player.  I wasnt ridiculous, a couple 50 dollar games and a couple 20’s which is higher than I should play, for sure, but I out played him, and when it came time to collect I was chips-in with 99 and he had 88 and he caught an 8 at the end. Why wont the force just let me have whats mine for once! Played again and lost I dont remember the hand but it was a bad beat and I shouldve won, and thats the point of taking a shot because when I win id have a tonne more money than I do and I can safely play higher stakes SNG where I think I would dominate, but bad luck is keeping me from being able to afford it. I am winning, and I should be.  But not enough. If I didnt have the BAD BEAT losses half as much Id probably be winning 75% of my games. And thats consistent profit! the reason I play!

Ive collected a list of hands Ive lost over the last few days. These are hands that were against one opponent for all the marbles at the end of a heads up tourney or for 1st place at a sng tourney.
88 vs QKoff. All in preflop, he sucks a queen on the river.
AQ vs A6. Ace on flop, he goes all in, catches a 6 later on.
AJ vs AK. I had AJ, my bad, AK held up.
99 vs 88. All in preflop, he hits an 8
QKs vs QJ. All in before the flop, they catch a jack.
TT vs 96s. All in final table, calls with 96, flop comes 45678 they have a straight.
K9s vs K6s. I had 4 hearts in this hand and top pair, no hearts came but a 6 did and she had 2 pair now.

Thats my list of losses in about 3 days. Look at that list. AJ was my only mistake. And what happens when I make a mistake? I lose. All of those other hands were my opponents mistakes. What happens when my opponents make mistakes? I lose. I lose to miracle catches like K9 vs K6. ONLY a 6 could win it for her. And she got it. 3 outs of 52 cards. actually 2 outs because the six of hearts wouldve given me the flush.  TWO OUTS.  I even had a flush draw. I didnt even need to catch anything, I was going to win with the kicker. But a flush draw to boot? And she caught the 6? UNREAL. Same with QK vs QJ. only a jack could win it, and they caught it. AQ vs A6? same deal, theres that 6 coming on the river, and if there was a photograph in that moment I bet you would see one of those blurry entities fucking with the deck in the photo before the river was dealt. There is bad luck, and then there is me. Cursed? Hindered? One thing is for sure its not these card players that are beating me.
And thats whats keeping me going, because I know I can do this! Ive been so patient, and my time will come 🙂  They say AS LONG AS YOU KEEP PUTTING YOUR CHIPS IN THE MIDDLE YOU WILL SUCCEED OVER TIME.  

still waiting…….    wtf………


Im dying to talk about heads up poker.  Thats probably 40% of my success.  But I havent read much about heads up strategy, so Im interested to see what I write.    Coming soon.!.


My Formal Return


Hey guys. Been a while!
Wow is my word of the month.

wow wow wow fucking wow.  What an incredible amount of fucking morons everywhere. Coupled with a bit of bad luck on my part and my blood is boiling. How do these people exist? How do they fucking end up on my tables, ALL the time? And better yet, how do they suck out winning hands over and over when I have monsters? Its supposed to work out that the FUCKBRAINS will catch their shitty hands every once in a while, and the Majority of the time, when they play their shitty hands against what I am playing, they should lose and log off in a fit wondering what the fuck they did wrong. Instead its me logging off lately going wow, I played that soo right, I couldnt have played it any better, how the fuck did that lose?

I havent written in here a long while. I havent given up poker, dont worry, that wont ever happen, I guess I just gave up writing about it for a while. But heres a new entry 🙂
Let me tell you about this motherfucker named aj009 or something. Ive played him many times, but not in a long time. Maybe he took a break or moved around in stakes, but its been a while since I played him. I remember him loud and clear. The kind of fuck that will raise huge with 55 and when the board hits TQJ and someone bets, he goes all in and loses and then calls you a donk. Up until then hell play tight and seemingly decent but he always cracks.

I didnt know what he had for notes on me, but I found out today. You see, theres a method to the madness I preach. You need to play like a donk once in a while. I swear to god. And I certainly dont mean a callstation donk, I mean a ‘raise everything and make a couple bad calls’ donk.

And it worked. I dont remember the hands or the dates but I obviously left an impression with him that I was a “true” donk. Being aggressive and losing small hands to create a false image for suckers to ‘remember, can pay off down the road, and over and over. This aj mofo thought I was a true donk, and he took notes of it, and months and months and months of not seing him, I finally played him again today. It was a multi table tourney. I had a medium stack and it was still within the first hour. I was doing good at this one table then I got transferred to another table, and aj was there. I had a couple decent hands and I raised and stole the blinds late. He made a couple comments like lol right when I raised. Nothing too rude but he remembered me thats for sure. After like 3 raises in a row I got KK, and I was first to act. The blinds were 100/200, and I raised it to 800. He lol’d again and then typed “this guy is a donk, he raises with nothing over and over!” Well thats partially true but this is the reason I do it, so when I have KK I can get you to think that your a9off is better, and WHAT A BONUS, he announces it to the table that Im a jackass, so Im sitting there going YES! go all in then you little fuck! And like a table full of dumbasses, 5 of the 9 players left call my 800 raise LOL.

So theres 6 of us in the pot, it should be about 4800. Ive got about 6k left. The flop comes, 43T, 2 clubs. I have the king of clubs. I am first to act. I bet 3000. Aj types again “lol, call this donk he has nothing” A few people fold, aj calls, and another guy calls. The turn is another ten. Oh fuck, I thought, some guy with qt off is gonna put me out here, fuck sakes. I am first to act again, and I just go all in because I am not folding if they bet. Aj calls and the next guy waits a bit and goes all in with his big stack. “Great” I think, he obviously has a ten. Now Im already all in but now its back to aj he has like 2000 chips left, and he folds LOL. Calls my all in then folds to a reraise with ten big blinds left and his entire stack committed. Now thats a donk.

Our cards turn over. KK, and the other clown doesnt have the ten, he shows 99 LOL. Flop is t43, turn is another ten, river? NINE. Bang, I disappear from the table before the moment is over where they realize I had KK and aj is just a fool. Im out.
Its unfortunate that the guy with 99 chose to believe aj009, instead of my 4xbb raise. If aj didnt say anything he may have thought his 99 was no good after a post-flop bet or two. However, the trick here is that I want this to happen. I want fools like aj to read only the “cover” of my proverbial book, and label me as a donk, and call my significant bets with his shitty pipe dream hands based on my previous nonchalant bets. I want him to announce to the table that im bluffing when I make a raise with KK, and I want people with 99 to believe him and go all in. This is what I wanted to achieve. So I guess whats really unfortunate here is the fact that he sucked out a 9 on the river of all places. Just makes me sick at the same time of feeling a sense of achievement, if that makes any sense.


I did shut it off for about 4 weeks. I was having a day :/ you know, poker can be split into days where you get good cards and things go your way, days where you get good cards and you cant seem to win a hand, and days where you get bad cards. depending on your style of play, the bad card days you will either fold everything and get blinded out, or youll be the guy who plays that shit and sucks out. so, really theres a fine margin where things actually go your way, and you gotta fight the bad days.

The hand that made me shut off poker for 4 weeks : This chick is a real bitch. Shes aggressive, but one of those stupid aggressive idiots. She makes raises on the button with 62off, calls a huge reraise, and bets huge when the flop is K63. She gets reraised again and she goes all in vs AK and she hits a 2 on the river. one of those aggressive idiots, you know?

Shes raising and raising and Im getting frustrated cause Im getting good hands but not catching anything good enough to bring her all in, and i end up folding. Im determined to make this bitch cry. Finally, I get a feeling when she raises my big blind 2.5x. Ive got 87suited. Spades. She raises, another guy called, another guy called, and I made a big reraise. I cant remember what it was but it was probably like 5x the original raise. I remember everyone called tho. And It was great because I flopped a straight flush. 9TJspades. I bet, she raised all in and everyone folded. This was the moment Id been waiting for, thank you come again bitch! oh look, she has KK, the king of spades. the turn? ace clubs. the river? Q spades. giving her the higher straight flush. Fucking disgusting. Closed er down after that, didnt log on for a month. That was 6 months ago.

So I didnt play poker for a month or so, around early spring. Then I eased back into it over the months. I took another shot but thats a different post.. Played a few MTT games and a lot of SNG heads up. And now, summers almost over and Ive played more poker in the last month than I have all year. Im still not rich. But Im still not broke, and Im fighting the beats and grinding the clock and Im trying to stay higher in stakes and Im not doing too bad except for what will be my next post 😛 But Im doing good. I want to write about heads up just so I can consolidate all of my thoughts into a place for me to manage them. This is my hi how ya been, been a while post. I sense I will be adding more and more to this blog in the coming months. And I will start my heads up post today! first I have a bone to pick with god.

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