Posts from the ‘Poker’ Category

The Retrogression of Amusement Playing Poker On-line

Source: The Retrogression of Amusement Playing Poker On-line

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The Retrogression of Amusement Playing Poker On-line

Poker is just not as fun as it used to be.  Its not because of the game, but because of the sites running them, and the players playing nowadays.  I feel like it used to be poker lovers running the sites, and now I would guess its just business people who want to get rich off of all the players playing and contributing rake. Poker sites are constantly changing the software, the platforms, the themes and the options. Its evident that the people in charge  are not asking “how can we change our site to make this game funner for everyone?”  But rather “how can we change this game so we make more money off of it?”

I played at PKR.com for most of my poker life. When it first started it was so fun, and easy to navigate. Throughout the years they have made many changes. There is a forum where people made it clear they hated many of the changes, but no one in charge seemed to care. I cant say how many posts Ive read where people say they are leaving this site because of things, and now when I play PKR it takes 25 minutes to get a game started, and theyve eliminated their online chat support, Im guessing because they are losing business and cant afford to pay these employees around the clock anymore.  How inconvenient for us, cause we all know that when we have an inquiry, emails promise to take 48 business hours, and everyone knows poker players inquires are in real-time.

After their journey of changes, they have reverted back to some of the older properties that made it fun to play there. But Id have to admit that its too little too late. I withdrew from there a few times lately and it promised money in my account in 8-10 business days. All withdrawals took Over a month to reach my account and much complaining. In the end I got a couple of 6 dollar tickets for my troubles. Lol. Too bad PKR, you should have listened to the players. We told you so.  /rude

888 poker, they keep offering free stuff to play there. Years ago it was 8 dollars, no strings attached. Now its 88, so I joined. Instead of 88 dollars I got 50 cents cash and a single 50 cent ticket to a tournament. Whatever. So I tried to find the right tournament to join, and the layout is just so busy it hurts the eyes. Its like looking at a blinking spaceship. Finally I see one that my ticket will get me into, and when I click on it it doesnt tell me anything. Ya it tells you the blind structures and the players and positions, but how many fucking starting chips do I get? How many seats are there per table? I couldnt find this information and more so, I couldnt spend much time looking before it felt like I was trying to read bible scripture from across the room.
blinking Imagine looking through that for a tournament while the colors are moving to accommodate the  tables opening and closing, and the advertisements at the top and bottom right forever looping.  Its fucking spinney. 

So you click whatever buttons and join whatever tournament already under way. i start with 1500 chips and the blinds are 300-600 already lol. At a 9 person table. Obviously first decent hand Im all in, KQ suited and the callers I get are 65off and 24suited and A7off. KA3 is the flop, 5 is the turn and Q is the river. So 24 wins with the straight. I woulda beat 56 and A7 but theres always some hero risking 3/4 of his stack with 2-4 out of position.
I wanted to know where the rest of my 88 dollars was, but 888 poker doesnt have online chat support either, so I searched my welcome emails, and what they do is needle out little 50 cent tickets over the next few days until they add up to 88 dollars. They all expire the same day so if you want to get anywhere, you need to deposit money or survive the fucking idiots who dont care what cards they play for any amount of money and hope to win something from the tourneys. That and log in every day before your ticket expires. Clever eh? Ive played 3 or 4 now and its always the same. They are hard to find, the raise buttons are stupid, and everyone sucks out wins with shitty hands they shouldnt be playing in the first place.  You cant swear in the chat but my screen name is NoFucks, spelled just that way.  On gambling websites you are not allowed to swear.  Is this not fucking hilarious?  You can swear on facebook!  Gamblers must be the legal age to gamble, which is usually an appropriate age to be around swearing.  Gambling itself is probably more frowned upon these days than swearing.  English words that are in the dictionary which is availible to children, that I cant type from my own free country on a website that you must be an adult to play at.  LOFL.

 

There is one thing tho that is way too common in every single game I play these days that pisses me off . Its the main reason why I am bored.  And that is the clock-time allowed to make a decision.  These fucking idiots just allow their clock time to run out every hand. Thats fine, and allowed, but the amount of time given to them is way too much. Its about 20 seconds. At a table with 6 people, the first guy to act wants to see a flop with his shitty hand so he waits and waits making it look like hes pondering a raise, then after 16 seconds he limps in under the gun with a shitty hand. Idiot. The next person is a fucking brain head and theyre mathing out the whole scenario of this tough decision before them, and after 18 seconds they flat call. The next person is a dick and they run the clock out on purpose and become sat out. The next person does the same thing, but only to get back at the people that made her wait so long. The next person is like me, imfuckingpatient, so he quickly calls. I have 99 on the big blind so I raise it 5x the big blind, the first guy who wanted to see a flop for free lets the clock run out to fold and become sat out. The brain head uses all her time and flat calls. And the last guy folds.

 

So almost 2 minutes later we see a flop and its 67T. I bet fucking huge. The brain head takes 20 seconds again before deciding I am trying to steal this pot with K high and goes all in with A3. I call with 99 straight draw and mid pair, and the cards fall 5, and 4, giving her 34567. Its fucking retarded. These people dont need 20 seconds to decide what to do, their only going to do one of three things, and that is run the clock down and limp in, run the clock down and fold, or run the clock down and min-bet. For when people really need time to make a tough decision there is an extra time button which gives you 60 seconds in a bank to use throughout the tourney. I say the regular time needs to be cut in half for online poker to remain fun. The people are just abusing the time to be idiots. I cant help believe that most of them think it creates an intensity  to scare people into not raising before the flop, so they can continuously see cheap flops with the worst hands imaginable.
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  Other people run the clock to piss people off so when they have a good hand someone will raise them cause theyre sick of waiting for them. It shouldnt take me an hour and 20 minutes to win $1.16 against 6 people, but it does.
Like fuck. When your 80 years old do you really wanna look back and know that 152 days of your life was spent running the clock down in poker in hopes of potentially winning a fucking dollar 16? I sure as fuck dont, I have better things to do. Cut these peoples time in half. There are turbo tournaments where play is faster, but blinds are also increased more often, and you start with less chips. Ya thats faster alright, but its not what I want. short stacked fast blind tourneys force you to play hands youd rather not because the blinds are so big so quick. You cant wait for AK so you wait instead for A9off and you get beat by QToff. Its not the same.

 
Ill mention Pokerstars too, the same shit.  Pokerstars, PKR, 888.  These are the sites I play at.  Long ago there was also MansionPoker, Doyles Room which became Americas Cardroom, Full Tilt and PartyPoker.  Theres probably 2 or 3 others I put money into also that I cant recall.  I guess Im thinking about switching poker sites cause like I said, Im just not enjoying it anymore with todays momentum.  I need a room with card players only, down to business.  Players that know time has a value on this earth and plays quicker than 20 seconds per turn.   A cardroom that people seek out like an underdog, that does not attract all the idiots who watch commercials and look at advertisements.  Yeah, Im on to something. 

 

I also play WSOP on my phone for when I am not home.  Its only fake chips but its a good enough fix.  The idiots on there?  Wow, I cant even begin, but thats what its for, the millennials who see poker and hear poker and think its cool, and wanna be able to say that they play and say that their good.  Most all people have never watched more than a few hours of poker on tv, or read a book on Texas Holdem, or read notes and blogs and tips.   Meaning no strategy beyond their own imagination.  And among those strategies is the “make em wait and think Im pondering a raise with AA but instead Ill limp in after 20 seconds and they will be too scared to raise it because I will probably go all in, and so Ill get to see the flop from any position with 36offsuit!” strategy.
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I love poker so much, I always thought I could make a lot of money from it.  And Ive made a bit.  Taken some withdrawals that came late, but came at a time when I really needed it.  But in my life Im probably down money.   Ohhh, wait a sec.  If I counted all the times Ive won cash at home games, then its pretty close.  Im probably just ahead.  But the point is Im getting beat by idiots when I get beat.  Just today last 3 in a 6 man SNG, and blinds are large, I made a big raise bigger than normal!  the one guy goes all in, with his last remaining chips, after seeing how Ive played the entire match, and how I won my pots, and its the bubble of the tourney.  2nd place gets paid, first place gets paid, and third place doesnt.  Hes got a decent stack of chips, probably couldve folded 6 hands and one of us would have been eliminated by then, but he was a hero, all in, Q7offsuit is what he risked getting paid or not on, at the moment of fucking truth vs my TT.  and he got a queen and I was gone. 

 

Or, same scenario last 3, top 2 get paid.  lots of chips each.  Buddy has been min raising every pot, the hands he shows are always two overcards like QK, AT, QJ etc.  He min raises my big blind I have A4off, I call.  Flop 473.  Im first to act I bet a bit more than minimum, he calls.  Next card is a 9, and Im pretty sure Ive got him beat.  Hes bound to have QT, or AJ, or KJ.  My next bet would commit me so it was go all in or check and potientially have to fold to his bet on the river.  I went all in with my pair of 4s ace high, and he called, the remainder of his chips.  his tournament life.  Theres a possible straight on board, theres a possible flush, and many combinations of pairs that can beat him, but he calls, AQoff, ace high.  Risks his tournament life on ace high after 4 cards, and the river is a Q.  Im out.  3 cards that can help his disastrous decision and he gets one. 

 

Ive read tonnes of books.  Ive scrolled through countless hours of blog posts and tips and training and strategy.  Ive written my own poker blog!  Ive played for over a decade for real money online at handfuls of sites.  Ive signed up for newsletters and even paid a guy 30 bucks to send me pro tips and videos for 3 months.  Ive played for 10 cents and Ive played for 100 dollars, many times.  Ive played for free and Ive played with other peoples money.  Ive watched every poker movie there is.  I have been told by people at high stakes that I am talented, and that I should play higher! 

 

And most of all, I am fucking intelligent as fuck, and I can see how people play, and you dont need professionals opinions after so long to know what are profitable decisions and what arent. I know my poker, and my math, and even when I know my opponents its just not enough to come out on top these days.  its like J7 will beat QQ 7 times out of 10 now.  The laws of averages are changing and I cant grasp why. 

 

Losing to bad beats before was bad, it inspired my entire idiot bashing blog.  But nowadays losing to bad beats is even worse because nowadays I am forced to sit and stare at depleting timers for the maximum amount of time before I can subject myself to the guillotine with KK only to be cut down with K8.  It is just not fun anymore for me.  I need to play poker and I need to exercise my studies to win money, but I cant do it in the time-frame these slow idiots have engendered, and I cant seem to do it with the cards people are calling my bets with these days.  I need a new poker site that is sought after by people who agree with me and one that is shielded in the shadows from advertising attracting the lucky fools.  That, and I need more home games where I can be certain robots arent in control of my hands destiny. 

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The Facts

 

 

Alright ladies and gentlemen, Im back.

Im back, Im back.     hot damn.. 

I lost it one day, just had enough, I took a leap over the edge and I found some nice results!  I really feel I found the next level of my game out there.   I can even see it differently. 

Envision with me if you will, yourself as a guitar player, who is trying to learn this really difficult song.   Spending months at it.  Hours upon hours.  And one day you get it, and its awesome, and its easy now, and its beautiful.  And you look back to the time you spent getting to this point, and the struggles and the frustration endured.   And now youre looking back from a higher spot, a new level, and it even feels better!

Or like at the end of the Matrix, where he finally realizes nothing is real, and when they fire shots at him he just utters ‘no, and the bullets just ease to a stop in front of him.   Thats how I feel.  In cards.  Just like, ‘no.         I have the best hand.

Its the craziest thing, but for the first time in a long time I am consistently winning over a long period of time, and my bad variances are only lasting a short day or 2.   And my tests have been running for a few months now.  Its safe to say Im happy with my game and its showing.

I know I told you guys before I was in a hole.  You know, first I had to learn poker, then when I was good I lost at expensive heads up games with hands that shouldve won.   And Ive been climbing out at small stakes ever since.  You know this.

Well I found a way back up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ooooo

You see that drop on the left there.  The big one is some more expensive heads up.   Then I go back down again to the bottom, right there in the middle.  That was a long spiral down, probably a couple months worth, about 800 games.   Then, I go straight up.  Well, thats about 800 games too, and its been about 2 months since the day I started rising.   I remember the day, I was sitting right here!  And I just said, you know what, fuck it.  I am gonna just play SUPER AGGRESSIVE.    Maybe it was a tilt thing Im not sure, but the first moment of my next game, it became so clear and I destroyed everything.   And I never slowed down, ive been running like this every day and everything is easier and I can just see poker and the players so clearly now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Its aggression man.   There are so many benefits and positives in it, and so few negatives.    It just takes a bit of guts, and a hard loss once in a while.  Some of these people are like ants now.  I just see them working hard and trying their best to do whats right and I just lean on in and squash em.  Squash em dead, hundreds of them.  And sometimes they try and crawl all over you but you cant let them up, you just gotta wipe em off and keep squishing them like little fish.   In this case the fish are the ants and theyre actually calling you fish but lets move on..

 

Super Aggressive.  I think this is the way, the truth and the light.   Like if you read my heads up post, I wrote that just a little while before I made this SupAgg leap.   And it was pretty aggressive already.  Well, Ive almost doubled the aggression described in that post.  In heads up, I raise everything, all the time, and reraise, and get caught bluffing, and every time I end up with a good hand when they think I am bluffing again.   And sometimes I raise with 84 off and the flop comes 84x and I just keep betting and they just keep thinking ‘fuck off you cant have every hand!  And theyll call me down with A7and lose.  Or theyll have JJ or something awesome and because they were to afraid to reraise me again I took em out with 84off and it becomes funny 🙂

I usually play heads up.  You know this too.  And second to that I play 6 seater sit n go’s.  And I dont play many MTT.  But Ive started to.  A few weeks ago I got first place in one.  I havent done that since before 2010.  I played one tonight, as I was writing this and guess what, I got 1st place again, just now! 🙂    It was only 20 bucks but its pretty good to me since I dont play them much.  I think I may start playing higher value mtts soon.  But look at my last couple hours just sitting here thinking about writing and playing low stakes:

 

 

 

lll

 

I just noticed now that the other MTT I got first place was on september 23, and I just got first place tonight, november 23rd!   Coincidence? 

 

This aggressive poker is really working for me.  and it all boils down to the facts.

Oh, what are the facts, you ask?  Well, its simple.

 

The facts are this:

When you play super aggressive, you become intimidating, bullyistic if you will.   What happens when people start to get bullied?  Well, one of two things.  They either remain bullied until they are broken.   Or they take a stand at a certain boiling point,  with anything and everything they can.   In other words, if you keep raising them, they will wait ages for AA and shove all in, or they will be forced to wait for a mediocre hand like QJoffsuit.

So theyre folding their 57’s and their J8off’s, and you keep stealing the blinds with T9 and 45suited.  Theyre getting frustrated, and frustrated usually makes mistakes.  Since you stole all those blinds you have a 3:1 chip lead.   Now its hilarious to me when you see these frustratees’  finally catch a hand, you make a pre-flop raise from 300 750 and they go all in 3100.   You can easily fold because chances are you have a poor hand and they are going to win only 750 of your money with KK lol.  All that waiting and they spoiled the surprise with an obvious push.  Maybe they wanted that 750 but if it were me, Id want to double up.

I love it especially in early stages, with even stacks.  After three hands you can hear the fellows blood boiling and he finally reraises 500 to 4000 LOL.  So I fold and his AA just got 2 big blinds from me HA.   Usually you can tell after a three bet if he has something wicked.  He raises on the button 3x to 600.  You reraise to 1200 with 96hearts, he goes all in 9000.  Ok, keep it 🙂   Rinse and repeat.   Do it 3 or 4 times and dont worry about your chips youll go down to 7000 or so, big deal.  What hes learning is that you will reraise everything and fold to another reraise.   The first time he had AA,  The next time he probably had 55 or something.  Now hes gonna start doing it with KQoff, and maybe JTsuited, or A8suited.  Watch, it wont be long, you will get dealt 88 or AQsuited, or JJ sometimes, and you will call and he will be a major underdog.

These are the open spots where you will sometimes receive bad beats, but the variance seems to hold up in a day.   Its a fact that if you continuously bully someone, they will become frustrated.   Its a fact that when people are frustrated, they dont play their best poker game.   Its a fact that when you bet everything, all the time, its hard to tell when you have the best hand.  I dont even change my betting patterns much.  Mostly everything in heads up is 2.5 raise before the flop.  26offsuit, or KK.  Same raise.  I can fold KK if the flop comes QQ3 and he reraises me and goes all in after that.

So the job becomes – get your opponent frustrated.  Bully him, and fold if you have to.  Bet small 3 times on a AJK flop, with a J turn, and a 4 river, bet three times with 76offsuit and let him call and see.   Hell call you down with a king.   And then hell just know you are full of shit, ALL the time.  Then do the same when you have a flush 🙂

When he opens the hand with a raise, reraise him.  Do it with T4suited, or 36suited.  do it with 9Toffsuit.  Make sure he see your cards eventually.   Or sometimes, just make the call and bet first after the flop.  Do this every time you call a raise.    Or if he calls your raise after the flop, and he bets, raise him.  DO IT NOW!

Its true, basically play like a donk, but only once do you have to actually have the hand and get your chips in.  Its a fact that if you continuously put chips in the pot, there will be nothing suspicious when you bet with dominating hands.   A few weeks ago, I actually was dealt JJ on the button, and I raise to 250, and they raised to 600 and I raised to 1200 and they called.  They were so used to me reraising everything that it just becomes a habit to call me, and the flop came JJ8or something, and they bet and I raised them and they called and the turn was a third heart they probably had a flush and they bet and I raised them and they raised me and I raised them, and the river came something I cant remember and they went all in and I called.  I had 4 jacks right from the flop and I just bet like it was anything.  Many people would check on 4 jacks on the flop but that would be suspicious since I DONT EVER CHECK.   Well, not much.  Theres a line somewhere and you cant do it every single hand when the blinds grow large, sometimes youll need to check 38 on a flop of 3AQ.

Theres people that are aggressive like you and they keep reraising you trying to get you frustrated.  Its tricky but I usually handle them pretty well.  Theres a difference here, and what I am preaching is to keep doing that and then when it comes time to call an all in, you have a great hand like AK or QQ or even ATsuited.  Your not making the calls with JKoff or A9off, and when your up against an opponent who likes to reraise you, these are the hands he will have when he reraises you all in.   Thats the difference, you will call all ins with the best 7 percent of hands, where as he will be shoving with the best 30 percent of hands.   He will like to do this with 89suited and JQoffsuit, even 45suited.  As I mentioned before those are my favorite hands, those low suited connectors, but they are not even-stack all-in hands, they are for when you have an enormous chip lead, or when you are almost out of chips, or just a simple raise and reraise during even-stack matches.

 

And as a general rule of thumb, The less chips your opponent has, the wider your range becomes.  Like if you have 16000 and he has 4000 and the blinds are 600/1200, you can raise the button with K8suited, and call his reraise all in.  But if you have 12000 and he has 8000 I wouldnt make the all in call with K8s here.

 

 

I basically ask questions in the form of small bets.  And I ask a lot of motherfucking questions 😀 And sometimes theyll answer me and Ill just have to ask a new louder question.    Until they get so angered by your annoying questions that theyll start trying to ask their own, or answer yours with a bang.  And if you do things right, youll respond to their bang with a kapow. 

Its working for me, and I really exclaim keeping the bare facts in mind at all times.  keep asking yourself, is this person frustrated?  Is he trying to one-up me?  Will he have a better hand than my AJ here?  Is he gonna think I am bluffing if I keep betting this set?  Will a reraise hurt? 

Im sure this stuff doesnt always work on Gus and Daniel but it works at $1, $3, $6, and even $12 dollar heads up.  And when I make it to $20 comfortably I will update my games changes, if any, accordingly 🙂 

 

If your looking for a different angle on poker, or your doing ok but your just missing that certain edge, I highly recommend super aggressive style.  Just remember you dont always have to call an all in with KJ.  

 

Ill be in touch 😉

 

 

 

 

 

Heads-up Poker!

Hey. 

So heads up, eh?   Man I play a lot of heads up.  You know, talking about bad beats and all that, I have to say, with accurate fucking honesty, that when I play heads up, I win 65% of the time.  And I lose to bad beats 15% of the time.  And I lose to people who outplay me 5% of the time.  for real!  and the last 15% ?  That is lost to people who are callstations who have some ridiculous hand.  Let me explain: 

 

Lets say I have J9suited on the button and I raise.  The guy calls.  The flop comes 45J.  He checks, I bet, he calls.  The turn is my 9.  I bet and he calls.  The river is a Q and he checks and I bet again and he raises me.  At this point I look at what can beat me.  I obviously know they are a donk because weve played a few handfulls of hands so far.  45J9Q.   I guess TK is a reasonable guess for the straight, but I really doubt it.  8T would be more likely, but would they really call a follow-through bet on the flop with that?  I doubt it.  Probably just Q6 or Q8.  Maybe 95 or even 94.  I make the call and they show Q4offsuit for the two higher pair. 

 

Thats 15% of my losses, and I cant really call them bad beats.  I would definitely not admit that to getting outplayed.  Its a class of its own and it needs a name.   There are a few things to point out here.  Calling a preflop raise with Q4 is questionable, but I get it.  Im aggressive in heads up and I raise just about every hand, even from the big blind position.   People need to play shitty hands against me because I dont let them see free flops.  So I get it.    But its still questionable.   When you are against an opponent like me, it is suggested that they are supposed to tighten up and play better hands and trap me or whatever.   When people play loose you play tight.  When people play tight you play loose.  Thats the common advice from many pros.   Now after a flop like J54, having a Q and a 4 here, its not the worst position in the world to be in, but its by no means, great. 

 

The flop is a place where people stab.  Im a stabbing kind of guy and Ill always try to buy the pot immediately after the flop.  Most people know that about me, and people who havent played me can probably just tell, thats the kind of thing I do.  So when I bet on a flop of J45, and they have a 4, its a reasonable assumption to think they may have the better hand.  The turn is a funny place.   This is where bluffers and follow up betters have more important decisions to make.  Its expected that people will bet on the flop if they raised before it, but now that theres another card and the guy called, if the continuation bet was a bluff, you must ask yourself if your willing to continue putting more money in to the pot.  And at this point you have a way better preview of what your hand will end up being worth at the end.  I guess what Im saying is that it takes a bit of guts to make a second bet if you are completely bluffing.  

 

Dont get me wrong, it happens all the time, but it just takes a little more guts than a flop bet.  Sometimes you have the Ace high guy making another bet on the turn or sometimes you think that hes calling with ace high after a flop so you bet again to ask if they really want to showdown with ace high.   But with a board like J459 –  and Im betting again, and they have Q4, this is the point of the hand where they must think their beaten and throw it away.  There is no straight draws for them, there is no flush draws, and the only thing they can beat is Ace high, or 33!  And its not like Im betting like a little girl, I got top two pair man, Im betting 3/4 of the pot size!  Basically by calling they think I have ace high or some draw.  And its a very very risky call.  But they called and were rewarded with a queen on the river.   I cant call that a bad beat.  Its more of a horrible couple of calls that fished out at the end.  Lets call it a fish beat!   Yeah, I like it. 

 

So 15% of my heads up losses are bad beats, and another 15% of them are fishbeats.  Thats thirty percent.  I win 60-65% of my games, legit.  And I lose 30% illegitimately.  Thats a fucking huge number, and I cannot figure out how to reduce it.  Ive played tight, Ive played loose.  Ive went all in at the flop, ive seen the river for cheap.   Ive checkraised and slowplayed.  I cannot avoid losing this way, no matter what.  Sometimes I even question the honesty of the site and its random number generator, but thats a different thought.   And I need to figure out how to eliminate these bad losses.   I imagine myself winning 75, 85, 90 percent of heads up, and the thought of it makes me happy and excited, because the truth is I only get legitimately beaten by people with better hands 5-10% of the time!  The fucking crazy part here is that I am good enough to acheive this, I just cant ditch these fucking fishbeats.  It happens at 1 dollar, it happens at 6 dollar, it happens at 20 dollar, and it happens at 50 dollar.   I cant avoid it and worse, I cant wrap my head around what the FUCK 30 percent of these idiots are thinking? 

 

But I guess Ill talk about heads up now, in a strategy type form.   Ill say this first – The hands I play are simple.  Any two cards that can make a straight.  23, 46, 7T, J8.  etc.  Any two cards that I can make a flush with.   83diamonds.   K2hearts.  J5spades.   I dont play 92offsuit.  I dont play J6off.  I dont play Qfucking4.     And sometimes I wont even play some of the hands I mentioned first like T7 unless it was suited.  And depends on how long the match has gone so far.   But I raise.

 

On the button early in heads up Ill raise with T7 off.  Its my plan to make it to a showdown if I cant win the pot, so he can see my T7off and that I raised with it, to give him a bit of an impression.   Now I kind of have a little list of rules.

 

You gotta get caught bluffing.  for cheap of course, and as early as possible. 

You gotta raise the button, to let them know you mean business. 

you gotta fold a few hands so they know theres a range of shitty cards that you wont play, in position or not. 

You gotta just call the button sometimes so they know that youre not just raising with junk every single hand, and that when you do raise, the hand has a bit of a value.   This will also be a bit of a relief to them cause they dont have to pay so much for a flop, and later in the game it will let you limp in with a hand that you might not want to raise with like 35suited.

You gotta raise when they limp in, often.  tonnes of them like to just limp in every hand and hope to see a cheap flop.  You gotta make them realize that even in position, its gonna cost them more to play 48 and Q6 and T3.    They should realize this and become more selective with their starting range. 

You have to establish that you are the loose one here.  Like I said, people like to play tight when someone plays loose, and people like to play loose when someone is tight.  Well, you dont want to be the tight one, you want to be the aggressor.  You have to raise them when they raise you.  Three-bet them.  If they raise the button, I usually raise 2.5 -4x right back at them.  If I raise the button, and they raise me, I fucking raise em again.  Be the aggressor.  Not the tight player.  Most people are idiots, dont ever forget that. 

once in a while you have to fold to a rerasie, so they know you have a bit of sense, and so they know that your range is not as wide as they think. 

You have to limp in with a monster once in a while.  Particularly when your up against someone who likes to raise the big blind to limpers, or someone who is going all in a lot.  

You have to bet the flop, even when you got nothing.  If you raise before the flop and your first to act after the flop, bet!  If you raise before the flop and then they check to you after the flop, bet!   If they raise before the flop and you call and act first after the flop, bet! 

Now, when its almost over, it gets tricky because you have 17500, and they have 2500, and the blinds will be 200/400.  They are looking to go all in with anything.  Fold before the flop your shitty hands.  Cut maybe a quarter off of your range.  Dont play 23suited. Dont play Q8. But you at this point have atleast 2 chances to win any hand.  Youve needled him for lots of small pots and blinds, so you can afford to call his all in twice with decent hands and lose, and still be the chip leader.  Maybe an 86suited call, or a 9Toff call.  Maybe an A4off call.  probably a J8 call.   I like to pick a hand and go for it.  If he wins he will double up to 5000.  He will likely go all in again very soon and you can make the call with one of those hands.  If you lose again, you will both be at 10k chips and it will be like starting again, so repeat the process!   But chances are, with a DECENT hand like 86suited, you will win one of two all ins, and thus win the heads up match. 

 

Lets say you lost both of them, and youre both back at 10 000 chips.  Blinds will be 300/600 now or maybe more.  The cats out of the bag, and you know what hes willing to bet all his chips on and he knows what you like to call with.  The first few hands might be slow, but eventually hes going to try and reraise you all in, or even all in when he is first to act (he or she of course, but forgive me cause Ill probably always just say he, for simplicity.)  This is where limping gets valuable.   You just about had the tourney in your hands and now stacks are even, so you should be tilted, and regretful, and sad, yada yada yada.    right?   wrong.   Your gonna seem cautious and seem like your out of sorts and giving him some credit now, and your not gonna raise every hand your gonna limp a few more instead, and he might try and take charge and become aggressive with his newly found confidence.  And hell go all in and youll fold.  And youll raise the next hand and hell go all in and youll fold.  And hell raise the next hand and youll fold.   Then youll get AToff and limp in and hell go all in again and youll snapcall, and he will have K8, or A3, or Q9, or even T5.  This is where 65% of the time youll win, or it will be one of the losses where he catches a better hand with his shitty cards.  

 

Most of the time you will win when he goes all in from his 2500 stack, or from his 5000 stack, but occasionally it will get to this and it will have to be a coin-toss.  Note:  Dont call with 86suited this time, not when you have near equal stacks.  No need for the hero call now, unless you know youll still have twice as many chips as him if he were to win.  You gotta pick high cards to call with now.  Or pairs.  

 

Thats my heads up strategy 😛  Its very successful for me, except for those damn fishbeats and badbeats.    I welcome any comments or suggestions or disagreements or advice or statements or you can even call me some names I dont mind. 

 

images    <—–  I googled fishbeats, and found this picture!  Somebodies got a blog named fishbeats 😛   I couldnt find much content in it, and I am sure its not about poker!  So Ive just stolen it, lets not tell him.  As far as were concerned, I just invented fishbeats.     Booya

You and God vs Me

 

You see, most people have an advantage on me before I even get dealt my hand. Im gonna suggest that when I am in a hand with someone for all the marbles, I am playing against a team consisting of my opponent and god. Yes, god. Ya, Im partially joking, but really, it must be true. I am not religious. I dont even believe in jesus or all that mumbo jumbo, but Im not talking about jesus I am talking about the almighty god. You know, Morgan Freeman, Alannis Morrisette? god. Whatever entity it is that resides in your subconscious, independent of religion, affording you the ability to separate right from wrong. god.

 
And he must be mad at me. Im no angel, but Ive never killed anybody or raped anybody or robbed a little old lady. There are worse people than me, but god seems to have a beef still, and hes been sitting in on my poker games and helping my opponents. I feel I should report this to the internet,  its about all I can do.

 
Im convinced it is the mighty god himself using his control to make me lose. There is no other explanation. The laws of poker state that the better hands will hold up against the lesser hands more often over time!! Does it not? Does it not state that AA will beat KK more often? Does it not state that AK will beat AJ more often? TT vs 33? KQ vs Qbloody3? Come on. Its way past variance. My better hands are losing to worse hands twice as much as I am winning with them, and this period could go back 3 or 4 months now. I do everything right. (mostly) I dont let people chase their hands for cheap. I dont bluff poorly or too frequently. I dont make horrible calls. I get the hand, build the pot, secure the deal and get my chips in there, and theres always somebody with a worse hand catching the fucking miracle card and I just think how the fuck am I supposed to beat these people when Im playing him and god at the same time handing out miracle cards??    Like enough is enough,  Ive been going at this for a couple years now after reading pages and pages of books for hours and hours and just keep doing everything I should and yet im still scratching up the walls of a hole. I get dozens of compliments a week, just two days ago this guy told me I was the only player hes played that knew anything about the game at this level. This level being between $3 and $12.00 sit n go.

 

I dont play much MTT as Ive said before, but I played two today. One I came in 14th out of 60 or something. no money, but for most of the tourney I was 2nd in chip leader. I cant remember how I lost I think I got blinded out. But I played another one and again I was second in chips after almost an hour. I had about 21000 chips and this guy limped in he had about 3000 chips and the blinds were 300 600 I think. I was next, I raised it to 1500 with 88, next girl called but that was nothing out of norm. My interest was the other donk girl who just lost most of her chips on a bad play she had 3500 left and she went all in as expected. Limper folds, I call, girl calls, flop come 853. Perfect I have 88. I bet big like 5000 and the pot wouldve been almost 10. She calls. Next card is a 10 and its the second spade. No more pissing around, time to win this pot I go all in, she calls, shows JJ. Nice I got her 🙂 Oh wait the river, JACK. second place chip leader – to out. over. done. Fine she had a better hand Ill give her that, it went the way it should have, she had an over pair, BUT if my bets indicated anything, it was a pair higher than JJ or trips, which would have both beat her. But she was loose and thought she had me and bet her whole stack, and youre telling me that wasnt the almighty saying “nice try buddy, you aint gonna win this yet, im not done fucking with you yet” as he passes her a jack on the river? You know, I probably get outplayed once every 35 showdowns. One out of 35 times does the opponent have a better hand than me that surprised me and the rest are river catches, or poor horrible calls, like when I raise 8xbb with AA and I get the T8off donk caller who goes all in when the flop is T83 and I call. Thats how I lose. I lose with 99 to 88 all in when they hit an 8 on the turn. I lose AQs to Q3donk trying to be a hero and I put him all in and one measly 3 on the flop takes me out? I lose 89s when the flop is 674 with flush draw and open straight draw I bet big with many outs and some hero with A4 sees me down and I catch nothing at all and he wins with a 4 when I fire a third bullet.

 
It sounds like Ive been doing horrible, I havent, really. Ive been playing poker a lot this summer and I had a bit of a break in the spring and late winter. and Ive done ok, won lots, I am ahead, but I should be way farther up. Im winning 55% and losing 45% and it makes me so angry because none of the losses are legit I should have won every game that I lost, its all horrible calls its all suckout rivers and bad luck plays, like when I have TT and the flop is JJQ and I bet, and buddy calls and the turn is 4 and I bet, and buddy calls and river is Q and now I have nothing QQJJ ten high LOL he wins with ace high. Over and over and over.

I took a shot again.
Remember my taking a shot post? When I got drunk and lost heads up 50 dollar hundred dollar games? woke up with zilch? Well I took a shot again not very drunk but sharper and on my game and I had some convos with the players,  they were alright,  but I was the better poker player.  I wasnt ridiculous, a couple 50 dollar games and a couple 20’s which is higher than I should play, for sure, but I out played him, and when it came time to collect I was chips-in with 99 and he had 88 and he caught an 8 at the end. Why wont the force just let me have whats mine for once! Played again and lost I dont remember the hand but it was a bad beat and I shouldve won, and thats the point of taking a shot because when I win id have a tonne more money than I do and I can safely play higher stakes SNG where I think I would dominate, but bad luck is keeping me from being able to afford it. I am winning, and I should be.  But not enough. If I didnt have the BAD BEAT losses half as much Id probably be winning 75% of my games. And thats consistent profit! the reason I play!

 
Ive collected a list of hands Ive lost over the last few days. These are hands that were against one opponent for all the marbles at the end of a heads up tourney or for 1st place at a sng tourney.
88 vs QKoff. All in preflop, he sucks a queen on the river.
AQ vs A6. Ace on flop, he goes all in, catches a 6 later on.
AJ vs AK. I had AJ, my bad, AK held up.
99 vs 88. All in preflop, he hits an 8
QKs vs QJ. All in before the flop, they catch a jack.
TT vs 96s. All in final table, calls with 96, flop comes 45678 they have a straight.
K9s vs K6s. I had 4 hearts in this hand and top pair, no hearts came but a 6 did and she had 2 pair now.

Thats my list of losses in about 3 days. Look at that list. AJ was my only mistake. And what happens when I make a mistake? I lose. All of those other hands were my opponents mistakes. What happens when my opponents make mistakes? I lose. I lose to miracle catches like K9 vs K6. ONLY a 6 could win it for her. And she got it. 3 outs of 52 cards. actually 2 outs because the six of hearts wouldve given me the flush.  TWO OUTS.  I even had a flush draw. I didnt even need to catch anything, I was going to win with the kicker. But a flush draw to boot? And she caught the 6? UNREAL. Same with QK vs QJ. only a jack could win it, and they caught it. AQ vs A6? same deal, theres that 6 coming on the river, and if there was a photograph in that moment I bet you would see one of those blurry entities fucking with the deck in the photo before the river was dealt. There is bad luck, and then there is me. Cursed? Hindered? One thing is for sure its not these card players that are beating me.
And thats whats keeping me going, because I know I can do this! Ive been so patient, and my time will come 🙂  They say AS LONG AS YOU KEEP PUTTING YOUR CHIPS IN THE MIDDLE YOU WILL SUCCEED OVER TIME.  

still waiting…….    wtf………

 

Im dying to talk about heads up poker.  Thats probably 40% of my success.  But I havent read much about heads up strategy, so Im interested to see what I write.    Coming soon.!.

My Formal Return

Hey guys. Been a while!
Wow is my word of the month.
wow wow wow fucking wow.  What an incredible amount of fucking morons everywhere. Coupled with a bit of bad luck on my part and my blood is boiling. How do these people exist? How do they fucking end up on my tables, ALL the time? And better yet, how do they suck out winning hands over and over when I have monsters? Its supposed to work out that the FUCKBRAINS will catch their shitty hands every once in a while, and the Majority of the time, when they play their shitty hands against what I am playing, they should lose and log off in a fit wondering what the fuck they did wrong. Instead its me logging off lately going wow, I played that soo right, I couldnt have played it any better, how the fuck did that lose?

 
I havent written in here a long while. I havent given up poker, dont worry, that wont ever happen, I guess I just gave up writing about it for a while. But heres a new entry 🙂
Let me tell you about this motherfucker named aj009 or something. Ive played him many times, but not in a long time. Maybe he took a break or moved around in stakes, but its been a while since I played him. I remember him loud and clear. The kind of fuck that will raise huge with 55 and when the board hits TQJ and someone bets, he goes all in and loses and then calls you a donk. Up until then hell play tight and seemingly decent but he always cracks.

 
I didnt know what he had for notes on me, but I found out today. You see, theres a method to the madness I preach. You need to play like a donk once in a while. I swear to god. And I certainly dont mean a callstation donk, I mean a ‘raise everything and make a couple bad calls’ donk.

 
And it worked. I dont remember the hands or the dates but I obviously left an impression with him that I was a “true” donk. Being aggressive and losing small hands to create a false image for suckers to ‘remember, can pay off down the road, and over and over. This aj mofo thought I was a true donk, and he took notes of it, and months and months and months of not seing him, I finally played him again today. It was a multi table tourney. I had a medium stack and it was still within the first hour. I was doing good at this one table then I got transferred to another table, and aj was there. I had a couple decent hands and I raised and stole the blinds late. He made a couple comments like lol right when I raised. Nothing too rude but he remembered me thats for sure. After like 3 raises in a row I got KK, and I was first to act. The blinds were 100/200, and I raised it to 800. He lol’d again and then typed “this guy is a donk, he raises with nothing over and over!” Well thats partially true but this is the reason I do it, so when I have KK I can get you to think that your a9off is better, and WHAT A BONUS, he announces it to the table that Im a jackass, so Im sitting there going YES! go all in then you little fuck! And like a table full of dumbasses, 5 of the 9 players left call my 800 raise LOL.

 
So theres 6 of us in the pot, it should be about 4800. Ive got about 6k left. The flop comes, 43T, 2 clubs. I have the king of clubs. I am first to act. I bet 3000. Aj types again “lol, call this donk he has nothing” A few people fold, aj calls, and another guy calls. The turn is another ten. Oh fuck, I thought, some guy with qt off is gonna put me out here, fuck sakes. I am first to act again, and I just go all in because I am not folding if they bet. Aj calls and the next guy waits a bit and goes all in with his big stack. “Great” I think, he obviously has a ten. Now Im already all in but now its back to aj he has like 2000 chips left, and he folds LOL. Calls my all in then folds to a reraise with ten big blinds left and his entire stack committed. Now thats a donk.

 
Our cards turn over. KK, and the other clown doesnt have the ten, he shows 99 LOL. Flop is t43, turn is another ten, river? NINE. Bang, I disappear from the table before the moment is over where they realize I had KK and aj is just a fool. Im out.
its unfortunate that the guy with 99 chose to believe aj009, instead of my 4xbb raise. If aj didnt say anything he may have thought his 99 was no good after a post-flop bet or two. However, the trick here is that I want this to happen. I want fools like aj to read only the “cover” of my proverbial book, and label me as a donk, and call my significant bets with his shitty pipe dream hands based on my previous nonchalant bets. I want him to announce to the table that im bluffing when I make a raise with KK, and I want people with 99 to believe him and go all in. This is what I wanted to achieve. So I guess whats really unfortunate here is the fact that he sucked out a 9 on the river of all places. Just makes me sick at the same time of feeling a sense of achievement, if that makes any sense.

 

I did shut it off for about 4 weeks. I was having a day :/ you know, poker can be split into days where you get good cards and things go your way, days where you get good cards and you cant seem to win a hand, and days where you get bad cards. depending on your style of play, the bad card days you will either fold everything and get blinded out, or youll be the guy who plays that shit and sucks out. so, really theres a fine margin where things actually go your way, and you gotta fight the bad days.
The hand that made me shut off poker for 4 weeks : This chick is a real bitch. Shes aggressive, but one of those stupid aggressive idiots. She makes raises on the button with 62off, calls a huge reraise, and bets huge when the flop is K63. She gets reraised again and she goes all in vs AK and she hits a 2 on the river. one of those aggressive idiots, you know?
Shes raising and raising and Im getting frustrated cause Im getting good hands but not catching anything good enough to bring her all in, and i end up folding. Im determined to make this bitch cry. Finally, I get a feeling when she raises my big blind 2.5x. Ive got 87suited. Spades. She raises, another guy called, another guy called, and I made a big reraise. I cant remember what it was but it was probably like 5x the original raise. I remember everyone called tho. And It was great because I flopped a straight flush. 9TJspades. I bet, she raised all in and everyone folded. This was the moment Id been waiting for, thank you come again bitch! oh look, she has KK, the king of spades. the turn? ace clubs. the river? Q spades. giving her the higher straight flush. Fucking disgusting. Closed er down after that, didnt log on for a month. That was 6 months ago.
So I didnt play poker for a month or so, around early spring. Then I eased back into it over the months. I took another shot but thats a different post.. Played a few MTT games and a lot of SNG heads up. And now, summers almost over and Ive played more poker in the last month than I have all year. Im still not rich. But Im still not broke, and Im fighting the beats and grinding the clock and Im trying to stay higher in stakes and Im not doing too bad except for what will be my next post 😛 But Im doing good. I want to write about heads up just so I can consolidate all of my thoughts into a place for me to manage them. This is my hi how ya been, been a while post. I sense I will be adding more and more to this blog in the coming months. And I will start my heads up post today! first I have a bone to pick with god.

Quick Babble

Ok I have another one.

man when I play poker, things happen and I just sit here and think ‘nice, I cant wait to write about that!

even if its a bead beat, or some table talk, or a crazy play.  Just now Im playing these 2 people, I was Very aggressive the whole game.  Some times the cards force you to be.   A couple hands in, I am second to act and I have A5suited.  First guy folds.  I make my typical raise of 2.5xbb.  I got a couple callers and when I bet on two hearts on the flop, they all folded.  Next hand I get KQ suited first to act.  I raise to 300.  Guy to my left calls, one other caller, the flop comes J98.  I bet and he calls and the other guy folds.  Next card is a K and I bet again, a bit small.  He raises me.  It doesnt look like he has much here that can win, if he had a ten, he has the same draw he had on the flop.  If he had a Q, he is still chasing.  If he had a K, then I probably have him beat.   I call his raise.

The river is a blank, 3 or 4, or 5.  I check this time.  The pot is like near 3000.  He bets 2000 and I flat call, he shows KT and I win.  The other players have a minute to absorb what they just saw while I fold the BB to someones small raise.

Everyone folds to me on the small blind and I raise 2.5  The big blind calls and the flop is AT5 and I bet.  Oh yeah, I have 68off.  He calls.  I check the next two cards and so does he and he wins with a ten.  So now they know I dont need a “hand” to bet with.  Next hand I have KK on the button LOL.  Swear to God.  I raise 2.5 and someone raises me to 1100.  Everyone folds and I reraise to 4500 after a few seconds.  He goes all in of course and I call.  He has QQ and I win.    Someone raises me later on when I have JJ.  I call.  The flop is 933.  I bet.  He calls.  Turn is another 9.  I bet, he calls.  River is a 7, I bet, he calls, he mucks  lol.

Then I had AA.  I couldnt make this shit up.  Was a clear heater.   I raise 2.5xbb, and by now they are getting frustrated.  The guy calls and the flop comes Q38 – all clubs.  I dont have any clubs, but I bet.  He waits a long while and goes all in.  I push the time button, figure my figures and call, he had no clubs either, just the 3, and a 4 lol.  I win.

Theres 4 or 5 other hands I can write about, I was winning them all.  But heres what I wanted to write about :

The guy to my right was pretty tight.  I entered a hand with him when he raised, I was on the button w J8s.  I called and flopped top pair.  I had about 42k in chips and he had about 7k.  The pot was about 4k.  Maybe it was silly of me but I dont regret calling when he bet.  I just called a normal bet, then the river was a king.  All I had was J8s, and he went all in last 3 or 4k, but I called just to see, and he had QQ.  Nice hand.

But he was tight, this was certain.  Now I want to explain the other benefits of playing aggressive.  There were three of us left that played for a long time.  The Tight guy, the Frustrated guy, and me.  I was in the middle.  One hand I had 33.  The flop was TK6.  I bet, the F guy calls, the tight guy…    …calls.

the turn was an 8, and I waited..  ..and checked.   The frustrated guy checks and the tight guy checks too.  The river is an Ace and I check, and the F guy bets mid sized, and the T guy calls and I fold.  The tight guy had the King the whole time.  The frustrated guy had the Ten, And the Ace on the river.   Now, what happened here is the tight guy was caught up between me, an aggressive unpredictable player, and a frustrated guy who could be chasing anything.  The guy with the best hand was scared to bet or raise anybody because my past play has shown him I will raise right back to him, and even call him down with bloody J8suited.  And He didnt want to be in a situation where he had to call his whole stack off with K9 or whatever.  It allowed me a good chance to hit a 3, and it allowed the F guy the chance to catch two-pair, the winning hand.    And this helped me because the tight guy lost a lot of chips and was shortly eliminated.  The F guy didnt have a very big stack and it wasnt hard to beat him.

When youre aggressive, youre not just creating a scenario where people make bad calls because they think you are bluffing, youre also creating a scenario where people with the best hand are afraid to act on it, and allow you or someone else to catch better hands on later streets because of their mistake to not bet or raise.  It takes the confidence out of other people, and that is a huge advantage.     It helps to have been dealt AA twice, KK once, and JJ once, but you dont always need those cards.

..Just a quick babble about the merits of aggressive poker.  Ill try and make my next entry more useful.

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